A collage of some things that I think would describe the story I had told in this blog. I chose to add pictures of my friends and I and pictures that resemble what my life as a teenager has been.
Ever since I was about 8, I was so excited to grow up, and I’ve always seen 16 as this glorious age. The age where my journey to adulthood would begin. I thought that when I turned 16, the world around me would change as if turning this certain age would make me feel like I had a stronger role in this world. However, the most noticeable change I’ve seen after turning 16 is my attitude towards growing up. Everything else seems to have stayed the way they were, if not even less than what they were before.
It’s kind of funny to think about it because I will always remember the way I saw the world when I was a child. Full of color; a very saturated cloud of hues and pigment. But now, when I look around me, I feel as if those colors have disappeared. As if I have finally taken off the glasses that blinded me from all the grey. When I look at the world now all I see is a dead end. Is this all there is? There surely must be more, but I’m scared to find out that maybe there isn’t.
Throughout these past few months I finally see the world for what it is. A place where fairness and equality are just words used to comfort those who seek it. Society divides between rich and poor, black and white, men and women. And even if the gaps between them have narrowed, there is still a prominent space between the two. Women are still facing sexist comments and are still being treated like objects. People of color are still being seen as less than and the rich are still taking advantage of the poor.
Due to these unjust divisions of social groups, this year has hit heavy for a lot of people in this country. And through my eyes, I feel that it’s quite unfair that because of a corrupt system, many have to suffer for it. I think I speak for almost everyone in this country when I say that it’s been hard to keep a strong heart. And many people’s view of living and life has been changed. These past few months have made me see the world in such a different way, that I feel if I were to see it through the eyes of myself when I was young, it would be beyond what I could recognize.
It’s obvious that our mind affects how we perceive the world around us. Whether you want to view that glass as half empty or half full is all dependent on you. And these days it’s hard to keep that glass half full. I miss doing a lot of things, I miss the feeling of waking up in the morning and dressing up for school. I miss the way I waited for my friends to walk into class, I miss a lot of things. It’s funny how everything we had and not cared for a few months ago, is now everything we long for.
I know these times are hard on everyone. The world seems to have changed so much in a span of such a short time that it’s difficult to focus on what had been important to you before. It’s hard to think about moving forward when it feels like everything around you refuses to move with you.
However, even though I have rambled on and on about how everything sucks, having a positive mindset and keeping that glass half full is what’s most important these days. Refusing to let the bad push you down is what will create a change.
I didn’t choose to write a blog about how the world looked through the eyes of teenagers to show adults what us teens are experiencing during these times. Instead, I chose this because I hope it can come across someone who’s experiencing the same thing I am. Hoping that this jumble of my words and thoughts can be of comfort for someone else who feels the same way.
So take this as a letter to those who are also feeling lost and stuck. Especially those who are my age, who’ve been feeling empty, tired and angry. I know it’s frustrating these days, with everyone telling you that these last few years of high school are meant to be focused on moving forward and focusing on the future. But how can we when the future itself seems so bleak?
I’ve had a lot of mixed emotions and a lot of them I’ve been taking out at the world. Angry at it for what has happened and, angry at it for breaking the promise it had made to me. The promise that when everyone’s born, they’re born into a world that will hold them with safety and love. However, I now realize that the world isn’t at fault here. It’s the people who made it this way. It’s the people who created the cracks and crevices on this land that only keep on breaking. So if I had to describe the world from the eyes of a teenager, I would tell you that it’s not the world that I see has been ruined. But the people who have ruined it.
However, even after all I have said, I still do have hope. Because I know that having faith is the only way to keep the possibility of a prosperous world alive.
So what I would like to say is, overall, even though everything seems like it’s moving against you. Just hang in there and look for the things that bring color to your life. Don’t go too long staring at the grey.
A change will com
A collage of some of my favorite songs and albums.
I included this here to show everyone something that brings color to my life. Using music as sort of escape when everything becomes overwhelming is very VERY effective and wayy cheaper than therapy 🙂